Do you know why…
❓ so many people give up on their dreams so quickly?
❓ the new coworker suddenly isn’t so nice after all?
❓ so many relationships end after less than a year?
❓ it is that so often, after a first date, a second one isn’t arranged?
❓ so many people give up their new routines or hobbies so quickly?
Because expectations are too high and patience is too low.
You give up so quickly because you expect too much, too fast.
✅ Dreams are important, but make them realistic and find out whether the people who appear in your dreams are also dreaming alongside you—or can imagine embarking on such a journey with you. And if so, talk about it regularly, set realistic timeframes, and be patient. Dreams rarely come true overnight; they need time to grow, change, and mature. Don’t overwhelm your dreams with unrealistic details and rushed steps. Respect your dreams and nurture them like a plant that needs various elements to grow. Pulling on the shoots won’t make them grow any faster—and if you plant a cactus, don’t expect an orchid to grow.
✅ Your new coworker made you laugh so much, put you in a good mood, and you thought things at work were finally going to get better? You thought he or she would be a great fit for the team and were already imagining how you’d work on projects together? But then there was that one little incident with the deadline and the strangely worded email—and you were surprised, felt a bit disappointed, and decided that you must have been mistaken? And ever since then, you’ve been keeping your distance, preferring to meet up with other coworkers for lunch—and you don’t even feel like clearing up the incident? Are you giving up that quickly? Do you even know what led to that email? Do you know the reason behind their behavior? Were you too afraid to talk about it? So is it easier to fall back into that old habit of labeling your colleague and thinking, “They’re all the same,” and not communicating with them? Be brave and talk to them—and trust your gut feeling. You were once new to that office or team, too, and you’ve made mistakes or caused misunderstandings before, haven’t you? Or do you not even know that because no one ever told you?
✅ As we all know, the first few months of a relationship are when we’re in love, constantly thinking about each other, wanting to connect, feeling excited, and whispering nothing but romantic or intimate things to each other—in other words, floating on “Cloud Nine.” But why do you give up after about 12 months, when things feel less exciting and a sense of normalcy sets in? Do you really expect the other person to provide the “all-inclusive” package? And are you willing to give that, too? Aren’t you being too impatient and focusing only on the things the other person suddenly seems to no longer be giving you? You go from a feeling of euphoria to a sense of lack and impatiently focus only on the things you expect and absolutely want—without patience, without depth, and without asking whether you’re actually willing to give those things in return.
✅ Before a first date, you’re naturally excited and picture what the other person might be like. You’re already imagining what you’ll wear, what the conversation will be like, where you’ll sit, what kind of impression you want to make, and you expect that the other person will be interested in you too—and hopefully “sweep you off your feet.” But give the other person a chance; ask lots of questions to see if you share the same values and ideas. Don’t focus solely on appearances. And don’t forget—the other person is probably just as nervous as you are. And just because the first date doesn’t go exactly as you expected, don’t give up right away; instead, look at the important qualities in that person with a more open and forgiving eye.
✅ Have you planned yet another new routine for your daily life—drinking water before breakfast, meditating twice a day, taking a walk during your lunch break, and then definitely working out? Or a new hobby? Here, too, do you expect to see results in no time, to feel good right away, to be more relaxed, or to sense how everything is changing? But with so much impatience and such high expectations, the new routine or hobby quickly becomes a burden—and then a failure—and you feel guilty because you didn’t manage to stick with it yet again. Think carefully about what you want to achieve and how much time you’ll give yourself to make it happen. Give yourself and your body that time; be kind to yourself and the transition. Intentional change doesn’t happen overnight and takes practice.
There are so many other examples of situations we don’t handle well because of high expectations combined with our impatience.
Please, before you feel like giving up again or getting impatient, ask yourself:
➡️ Why do I want to give up again?
➡️ Where does this negative feeling come from?
➡️ Wouldn’t it be good to push past my limits?
➡️ Wouldn’t it be nice if I could say afterward, “I stuck with it and gave myself a second chance?”
Bianca-Maria
You’re welcome to book a no-obligation introductory session with me right away, and we’ll discuss how you can become more patient with yourself and others, work through all your expectations, and handle similar situations differently! I’d be happy to support you in this!